Even though it might not seem that way, both heterosexual and gay dating scenes face certain obstacles. If you think about it, finding Mr or Mrs Right is tough for everybody. And even if you do manage to find that special someone, the chances are that you’ll face many obstacles and eventually give up. And sometimes, that is going to be a huge mistake. But what can you do? You need to recognize some common gay dating obstacles and learn how to overcome them – in that way you’ll be able to maintain a healthy and loving relationship with your better half.
Being in the closet or proudly out
When speaking about dating obstacles gay man face, the first one that comes to mind is definitely the fact whether you’re both in the same place when it comes to ‘being out.’ Namely, if you’re both in the closet or proudly out, you’re on the same page and there are no particular obstacles. However, if one of you is proudly out and the other one in the closet, then you might be facing some problems. In this kind of relationship, when you’re proudly out and your partner is still in the closet, you can easily become re-closeted. You can start feeling insecure, bad and unhappy. It’s certain that you don’t need these negative feelings in your life. You won’t be able to date someone in this way for a long time. The first thing you should do is tell your partner how you feel. If you’re really into this person and vice versa, the solution is for him to come out to his family and friends. Maybe they’ll reject him and maybe they’ll accept him – who knows. In order for your relationship to succeed, you need to base it on honesty, love and support.
Your work schedules are completely different
Another real-life obstacle that can get in the way of your happiness is certainly a different work schedule. Let’s say that you find a perfect guy through gay matchmaking service, you start dating, you really like each other but your different work schedules don’t allow you to spend as much time as you want together. Bummer! The typical example is any night job versus a regular 9 to 5 job when it’s simply impossible to spend much time together during the day. The question is how can you overcome this obstacle if you really like someone? Well, you can start planning your weekends together and using free time you have then – this kind of working schedule combined with a serious relationship isn’t uncommon nowadays and people have learnt to live in accordance with it. It’s not too bad having time to be independent, working and spending a certain amount of time with your partner.
Big age difference
It is common knowledge that gay man handle the large age difference better than straight people. Nevertheless, there are still big differences when you’re dating someone who’s 15 years younger or older than you. We have concluded that the most important thing is to focus on the stages of your life. If you’re in the same or at least similar stage of your life, you’re good to go. There probably won’t be any huge differences and things to deal with. However, if you’re in completely different stages, for example, one of you is a party animal who likes parties, night outs, dancing and drinking and the other one is tired of all that and would rather stay at home – you probably won’t last long.
You value different things in life
Certainly, this is one of those obstacles that can be a deal-breaker. When you’re searching for a life partner, it’s essential that you both value the same things in life. You can survive all those other differences such as social status, skin colour, gender, religion, race but valuing different things – hardly. You need to date a person who views the world in the same way you do and who cherishes the same values as you do.
It is very difficult to find a person to be in a committed relationship with as we live in a world full of stereotypes and prejudice based on people’s race, skin colour, gender and looks. It’s not uncommon that people are dismissed exactly because of these superficial features. It all leads us to the conclusion that if you do find someone who you like, try to overcome the obstacles you face because the chances are that you might not find a person alike any time soon.
Jasmine Anderson is a lifestyle and beauty blogger based in Australia. She is an incurable daydreamer, who finds inspiration in little, everyday moments. Spending time at her cozy home office with her two cats, writing her blog, is her favorite thing in the world.